Over the years, she’s used her platform to champion self-acceptance and break down harmful beauty standards, especially through her work as the host of The Ricki Lake Show. We were incredibly fortunate to share a heartfelt conversation with Ricki during the filming of Embrace, where she opened up about her personal struggles and triumphs. 

Here’s a glimpse into that powerful conversation…

How did you feel about your body when you first began your career?

I’ve had a very complex, complicated relationship — a love-hate relationship with my body, as I think most women have. My whole career started because John Waters chose me to be the fat girl in his movie. I was the original Tracy Turnblad, and what an amazing character, an amazing role model. I get why he chose me. The film subverts the Hollywood narrative of ‘one size fits all’ – the big girl that gets the guy and wins the dance contest.

What were your personal feelings about your body during that time?

I also had all these sort of internal insecurities about my body and what I looked like. I was very young, and I was not someone that boys were drawn to. I was a sexual abuse survivor, so I had all that mixed up — I didn’t want to be attractive to men. So, I think I was eating as a way to protect myself. 

And I felt like I was a walking contradiction. On the one hand, publicly, I became a star as this adorable fat girl. But inside, I was still trying to find myself and feel comfortable in my skin. I think much of my adult life has been about that.

How did fame complicate your journey with body image?

Being a famous person and having that struggle be so public is really a mixed bag. You know, I felt for a long time because I got skinny, I’d get big again. I’d have a baby … You know, it was a rollercoaster. I mean, I’ve been 120 pounds and I’ve been 260 pounds. 

Do you feel any pressure to look a certain way as a public figure?

I felt implicated for a long time because here I was … when I lost all the weight and I’m on the cover of a magazine in a bathing suit. I mean, what message am I sending? You know, but I was really proud of myself. It’s a huge, huge accomplishment for me. And that was one of the number one selling covers of all time, was me. I mean, I wasn’t even that famous. But I get it. Like there was part of me that wasn’t totally surprised. Because I’m that person too that wants to know, how did she do it? But I also wonder if it’s doing a disservice by being so public about something that’s really so trivial. We should be talking about, you know, the environment and world peace.

How has your view on body image changed over time?

I have no idea what it would feel like to not worry about my weight. I can’t even think. You know, my mother was so food and diet-obsessed that, you know, that’s what I grew up with. I was always self-conscious about eating that extra plate of food or having dessert. You know, it felt like such a guilty pleasure. But that’s my norm and that’s most women’s norms. It’s a real struggle, and I resent the fact that so many days and hours and time has been spent hating what I look like when I look in the mirror. 

I’m still striving to get to a place where I’m completely 100 percent comfortable in my skin. I’m almost there, you know. I’m getting better and I’d better hurry up because I’m not getting any younger.

How would you describe yourself today?

I’d say I’m a shapeshifter. I’m soft and I smell good.

Ricki’s journey is one many can relate to. Check out her social media channels for updates on her latest projects.